Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.)

How did you start this site?

I was talked into starting a LiveJournal account by a friend of mine a couple of years ago. I posted in it for a while, but it didn't hold my interest. I forgot about it entirely for a long time after that, and got back to it when I was reminded by this friend that I hadn't posted anything in forever. I started back, but wasn't happy with the traffic, (next to none), and started looking for a host with more curb appeal. I found Blogger and it went from there.

Where did the name Plainly Ranting come from?

I originally wanted to call it "Why Everything Sucks", but found that it was already taken after a brief Google search. The name "Plainly Ranting" is my idea of a witty play on the old phrase "plainly speaking". It was originally going to be called "Generally Ranting", but I was tired that night and couldn't keep my head together.

Where do you get your material?

I wander around in my daily life until something strikes me as odd, obnoxious, or both. Then I come home and go on a row about it. Sometimes it becomes a full-fledged article, and sometimes it doesn't.

So you don't publish everything that you write?

Oh God no. Sometimes ideas don't go anywhere and I have to either put them into storage for later or I just scrap the whole thing and try again down the road.

But do you write everything you publish?

Abso-fucking-lutely. Everything you see on PR is 100% my stuff, with the exception of some images. If a particular image doesn't have my copyright tag at the bottom, It's not mine and I'm linking to it on imageshack. No guest writers or contributors work here. Plagiarism is not something that I condone or try to get away with. If I must, I'll reference other's works while giving full credit and linking to it, but I usually wind up citing it as a source.

Can I link to your website?

Sure. I don't mind and you don't need my permission.

Will you link to my website?

Contact me via the e-mail links at the top and bottom of the main page and introduce yourself first.

Why is your site so bland? You could use some HTML to jazz it up.

Okay, now you've just gone off into stupid. I've chosen the white on black color scheme for a reason, and it's not to be Emo or Goth. Your monitor is never going to be a piece of paper, no matter how hard you try to make it look like one. In essence, you're staring at a lightbulb for hours and straining your eyes. If you don't believe me, try turning off the lights in the room where the monitor is and see how bright things still are.

Concerning HTML, what the fuck do you think this site was written in? Jell-O? Just because I don't have some gee-whiz flash-bangy website like some other pretentious cocks I could name doesn't make this a bad site. The websites you're looking at are for people who don't know how to read. If they could produce good content, they wouldn't need to dazzle you with flashing lights and things that spin.

Besides, this is called Plainly Ranting, not

I'm offended by something I read here!

I don't give a fuck. Bye. Tell your friends.

No, I'm serious. You really pissed me off!

No, I'm serious. I don't give a fuck. I don't recall coming to your house, surfing to my site on your computer, tying you to a chair, propping your eyelids open with toothpicks and forcing you to read a goddamned thing. If you don't like what you see here, go somewhere else and leave me alone. If you don't want your kids seeing this site, don't let them come here. If they came here anyway and you're pissed, SHAME ON YOU. Start watching your precious A.D.D. brats and take responsibility in their life for a change. I'm not your babysitter.

How often do you update your site?

I update Plainly Ranting every Monday, usually in the wee hours of the morning, Central time, (-6:00 GMT).

Why do you only update once a week? I'd just put something up whenever I had material to post.

I'll keep that in mind when I visit your site. However, since this is my site, I'll do whatever the fuck I feel like. I update on a weekly schedule because it allows me to backlog articles to put up on those weeks when I don't have anything new in my head to post. It also lets me prune away the articles I don't like and allows me to focus on putting up good content. I have at least 10 articles right now (as of this writing) in the works, and not all of them are going to see the light of day.

Are you married?

Yes, I am married and have been so since 1999. Why? Are you proposing?

How does your wife put up with you?

"I have no idea." That's a direct quote from Joy, folks. I like to think it's because I'm a Greek god in bed.

How long does it usually take you to write an update?

It varies. Sometimes I'm on something for a week or two, while other things seem to write themselves. Still other things never get anywhere at all, and they go into storage. However, the majority of time working on a post isn't spent writing, it's spent re-writing. No matter who you are, first drafts suck and should never be what you publish. While I may bang out an article in twenty minutes, I can be hours if not days editing, rephrasing, and rearranging things until I'm satisfied with it.


That's all for now. If you can think of another question I've not covered in this FAQ, then contact me at and ask.

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Blogger Lynn said...

Are you married? If you are, how does your wife put up with you?

4:09 AM  

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