Wednesday, December 27, 2006

You Are An Insignificant Dust Speck

Let's get something absolutely straight before we go any farther: You matter less than a cockroach's fart in the grand scheme of the Universe. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can stop screaming at me about the way I should:

a) Live my life

b) Think

c) Feel

d) Give a flying fuck about your opinion

Failing that, I can always beat you into an unrecognizable red paste.

What's more, any and all attempts to get me to give a damn will fail, and cause my Delete key unnecessary wear and tear. Believe me when I tell you that you are not somebody. Just because you're unique and all that crap doesn't mean you're particularly important or of any special use. Most likely you've done little more to improve the human condition than metabolize oxygen, just like everybody else. Think about it this way: Consider the humble driveway gravel. Every single stone is unique and beautiful in it's own way and all that happy horse shit, but when taken as a mass, they're only good to park your fucking car on.

FACTOID: The Earth's population reached 6.5 Billion last Saturday.

Your house payment doesn't matter. Your car payment doesn't matter. Your ugly fucking kid's soccer game doesn't matter. So just send me all your money since it doesn't matter anyway. And be risky. Do it through the U.S. Postal Service.

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Blogger Brett said...

It sounds stangely like a Tyler Durden-esque monologue for those who know who I am talking about.

1:52 PM  

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